Have you ever found yourself caught off guard by feedback that seemed to come out of nowhere? Or have you been in the position of delivering feedback that left your team member feeling stunned and disheartened?
Chances are that psychological safety was not established and therefore the brain did what the brain does well—protected itself.
According to Amy Gallo, author of Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone, psychological safety is the “shared belief held by members of a team that it’s OK to take risks, to express their ideas and concerns, to speak up with questions, and to admit mistakes—all without fear of negative consequences.” (HBR, What is Psychological Safety?)
A bad personal experience
We've all experienced it at some point. Personally, I've had my fair share of moments where feedback hit me like a ton of bricks.
Take, for instance, this one incident: I thought I was going in for my routine 6-month review, only to be handed a hefty 5-page document outlining all the ways in which I was supposedly failing at my job. The shock and dismay was palpable; tears were shed, but my manager seemed oblivious to the psychological safety they had failed to establish.
Instead of pausing, they relentlessly went through every point, leaving me bewildered. It left me questioning why they hadn't given me a heads-up and why they didn't know when to stop.
What happens in the brain?
Our brains are wired to shield us from threats, real or perceived. Feedback that does not reward vulnerability or that is delivered in a condescending or judgmental tone can trigger a defensive response, prompting the amygdala to kick into fight or flight mode and shutting down our prefrontal cortex—the region responsible for rational thinking.
This neurological reaction can lead to catastrophic thoughts: "Am I in danger of losing my job?" "How will I manage financially?" Defensiveness sets in, derailing effective communication. Without establishing a sense of safety, attempts to salvage the conversation are futile.
Without a sense of assurance that encourages employees to voice their opinions and ask questions without the dread of humiliation, coaching and feedback sessions can often derail, and over time, this will affect retention.
How do we build psychological safety?
Building psychological safety is a gradual process that hinges on trust and a culture that values risk-taking and innovation. It's about creating an environment where individuals feel at ease with one another.
Achieving it requires nurturing trust over time. Managers can cultivate this by acknowledging and rewarding vulnerability and fostering a climate of creativity.
According to Timothy Clark, CEO of LeaderFactor, leaders can encourage psychological safety by creating warmth and informality, modeling acts of vulnerability, and rewarding challenges to the status quo, amongst others. (HBR, How a CEO Can Create Psychological Safety in the Room)
Some lessons from improv
We can draw valuable lessons on fostering psychological safety from the principles of improvisational acting. The idea of building on each other's thoughts and ideas creates an atmosphere of acceptance and triggers the brain's reward system.
In improv, the concept is straightforward: one person makes a statement, and the next person acknowledges it with a "Yes, and..." mentality, then adds to it.
Ideas are personal expressions of our unique creativity. We are vulnerable when we propose solutions because they are personal. But, when our creativity is acknowledged and rewarded, it boosts our self-esteem. When our creations are embraced, we feel embraced.
How can we apply this in the workplace?
Think about an idea presented to you. It probably wasn't fully formed, right? You can adopt a "yes, and" approach by expanding on it. For instance:
Person A: I suggest organizing a staff gathering to boost engagement.
Person B: Yes, and we could make it more appealing by adding lunch.
See? It’s not that hard, right? Building trust is all about rewarding vulnerability and encouraging creativity without judgment.
If this sounds unfamiliar, sharing something personal can set the tone for openness in your relationships. You don't have to reveal too much, but by demonstrating a sense of openness, you encourage your team to do the same.
A good personal experience
I once had an exceptional manager who prioritized creating a psychologically safe environment. This meant that I felt comfortable receiving feedback from them, knowing it was intended to help me improve. Interestingly, they didn't need to offer much coaching because I would proactively discuss my mistakes with them.
Rather than judging me, they saw my openness as a positive trait and supported me in developing strategies to avoid similar situations in the future. Our relationship was built on trust and respect, and they turned failures into valuable learning experiences.
If you can be anything like this manager, you will be one of the best. And if you can be coached by anyone like this manager, you will have the best.
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